To Fern's Homestead!!

The highlight of the week within our home is Erev Shabbat dinner. Before sundown on Friday evening, our family hustles and bustles throughout the house finishing up last minute preparations for the weekly Shabbat. We look forward to the time when we can settle down from our routines and enjoy rest, fellowship, study and worship. Each week for Erev Shabbat dinner, we set the table with our special tablecloth and my late mother’s china. The challah is warm from the oven, the wine is chilled and the kitchen is filled with the aroma of our finest dinner of the week. Our family gathers round the table and before sundown I kindle the Shabbat candles and recite the Hebrew blessing to enter into Shabbat. It is a special time for our family to worship the Holy One of Israel and celebrate His goodness, rejoice in His Salvation and delight in His Shabbat.

In our home, the two candlesticks are symbolic of the command to observe and remember Shabbat. The lighting of the candles sets the Shabbat apart from the normal week and we enter into a day of worship and rest. My husband pours the wine and juice for kiddush and we bless the Holy One for the fruit of the vine and His provision of joy for our lives. He then takes the challah, the braided Shabbat loaves, and lifts them as we say the HaMotzi and bless the Holy One for the bread. We are reminded of the miraculous provision of manna for the children of Israel in the wilderness. We also remember our Messiah Yeshua who is the Bread of Life; He brings us sustenance through His Spirit and the Word. My husband then turns to bless our children and places his hand on their heads while reciting the traditional Hebrew blessing along with a special prayer for each girl. Afterwards he sings the traditional Hebrew blessing Ayshet Chayil, “A Woman of Valor,” to affirm the important contributions I make to our home and family. He prays a special prayer and blessing over my life and encourages me to develop the character and stature of a godly wife and mother. Each week, I am exhorted through blessing and prayer to grow and develop into a woman of excellence fashioned in the image of the Holy One.

Often I am reminded of the old adage that rings true: “The woman is the heart of the home.”

This concept can also be found in Psalm 128:3: “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house.” (NKJV)

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within (y’rekah) your house.” (NASB)

The Hebrew word Y’rekah (Strong’s H03411) denotes the inner recesses or innermost part much as the heart positioned within the human body. In the Hebrew dynamic, the husband is the head and leader while the wife is the heart of the family. These two were created by the Holy One to function together as one flesh and raise children who would populate and subdue the earth with righteousness. The home has been the foundation for learning of the Almighty One and Creator of the Universe and how to relate to fellow man since time immemorial. It is within the home that the way of life is established and countless generations are influenced. In the home, children can be raised to understand and accept salvation through the Redeemer and Savior of Israel Messiah Yeshua. They can also be trained in the knowledge of the teachings and instructions of our Heavenly Father found in the Torah and discover the blessing of keeping His commandments. The home can be safe haven and a center of training in righteousness. It is a Beit Tefillah-A House of Prayer, a Beit Midrash-A House of Study, and a Beit Shalom-A House of Peace.

And where better to learn that way of life than in the home? Home is a place of comfort and healing, a place of safety and security. And from this secure outpost we can explore our world. Home is where great things are spoken and where our imaginations are unleashed to explore and wander in the presence of warm, loving companions who both encourage us and teach us what areas are best left unexplored. Home is where you learn discipline and where you are disciplined, because home is where you are loved.[1]

The wife and mother as the heart of the home is given the tremendous responsibility and privilege to encourage her husband and nurture her children. It is a high calling and a difficult one at times. In this sometimes harsh and abrasive world, women must foster an environment in which their husbands are strengthened and their children can flourish as the life and love of Messiah are made manifest within the home. A woman of excellence must be strong yet tender, bold yet humble, wise yet meek and gentle. Being a woman of God requires living a delicate balance. Spiros Zodhiates describes meekness as seen in a woman of character:

Prautes (Greek for “meekness”), according to Aristotle, is the middle standing between two extremes, getting angry without reason, and not getting angry at all. Therefore, prautes is getting angry at the right time, in the right measure, and for the right reason. Prautes is not readily expressed in English (since the term “meekness” suggests weakness), but is a condition of mind and heart which demonstrates gentleness, not in weakness, but in power. It is a balance born in strength of character.[2]

We can understand from Scripture that the influence or power that a woman wields within her household can either impact her family for better or worse. Mishle/Proverbs 14:1 instructs: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Thus, a woman has the ability to build and strengthen or to tear down and destroy her home and family. Rabbi Abraham B. Witty comments:

According to the sages, a woman is more naturally attuned to spiritual matters. The Maharal of Prague, Rabbi Judah Lowe (1512-1609), explains that a woman’s personality is innately more serene, a characteristic necessary for spiritual achievement. While caring for the conduct of the home and the children should not be her exclusive responsibility, on a day-to-day basis, she can either foster or hinder her family’s spirituality. To be sure, her own aspirations, style, and unique skills are reflected in the accomplishment of her family’s goals; but it is her Jewish identity and commitment to Torah values that will leave a lasting impression and assure the survival of future generations. It is an awesome responsibility and trust.[3]

The very first woman Eve, made devastating choices and influenced her husband to be disobedient to the Holy One, which resulted in the fall of mankind and separation of fellowship between man and his Creator. We also read in Scriptures about the matriarchs of Israel: Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah and we are given record of their successes and failures. A close examination of their lives and character can instruct us to make choices to walk in obedience to the Holy One. The Scriptures also speak of strong and bold women of Israel such as Deborah, Ruth and Esther who acted with courage and honor when faced with difficult situations. Some women within the Scriptures were not recorded for their valiant deeds but are better known for the children they raised. One such example is the women of Timothy’s life. His faithful mother and grandmother trained him in the Scriptures from an early age and led him to faith in Messiah Yeshua. Paul spoke favorably of the influence that Timothy’s mother and grandmother had upon his life and encouraged him to continue to grow in the faith, which they had passed on to him.

2 Timothy 1:5 For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.

2 Timothy 3:14-17 You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Messiah Yeshua. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

This young Timothy was commissioned by Paul to serve as a leader in Ephesus and Timothy’s ministry impacted not only the local assembly at Ephesus but also his life helped changed the world. Timothy was the product of a righteous generation of women who prepared him for his future calling. Lois and Eunice were women who lived and trained Timothy according to Torah and led him to faith in Messiah Yeshua. Their virtue influenced many generations for righteousness.

The role of the Biblical woman is also eloquently expressed in Mishle/Proverbs 31:10-30. This is an acrostic poem of 22 stanzas and each line begins with a letter of the Hebrew Aleph-Bet. The traditional Jewish custom is for the husband to recite this passage of Scripture on the eve of Shabbat in honor of his wife. The Hebrew blessing, Ayshet Chayil “Woman of Valor” is a beautiful tribute and describes an ideal wife of strong character. The poem begins: “An excellent (chayil) wife, who can find?” The Hebrew word Chayil (Strong’s H2428) is valor, valiance, virtue, and speaks of the force and strength likened to an army. A close examination of this ideal woman’s character can serve as an example for women of today who strive to grow in faith and godliness as a woman of excellence and virtue, beauty and strength.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. (31:10) An excellent, virtuous wife who walks in the ways of the Holy One is a rare gem of intrinsic worth and value. She is the treasure of her husband as found in Proverbs 12:4: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.”

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (31:11) The virtuous woman is faithful and trustworthy and her husband has complete trust in her abilities to manage the affairs of her household. She submits to the leadership of her husband and is not contentious.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (31:12) A virtuous woman is an asset to her husband and created by the Holy One to be a helpmate and supporter for her beloved. Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from ADONAI.”

She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. (31:13) The virtuous woman is industrious and seeks suitable provisions for her household. In Ancient Israel, clothing was created with wool and flax and women sought these raw materials to create garments to clothe her family.

She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. (31:14) The virtuous woman cares for her family by providing them with nourishing meals. She is a planner who brings her family a cargo of blessings.

She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. (31:15) The virtuous woman begins her day early to care for her household and provide for the needs of her family. She is also a mentor and support to other women.

She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. (31:16) The virtuous woman invests wisely and makes the best use of her resources. She can make economic decisions for her household to benefit her family.

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. (31:17) A virtuous woman is like a soldier girded with the sword for battle. The woman of valor girds herself with the “sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17). She hides the Word within her heart and mind to fight off the temptations of the flesh and the world.

She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. (31:18) The virtuous woman works until the evening to care for her family. She uses her time wisely to accomplish her tasks and responsibilities.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. (31:19) The virtuous woman fulfills all of the traditional household roles performed by women, working hard to care for her family.

She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. (31:20) The virtuous woman provides not only for her household but has compassion and concern for those around her. She seeks ways in which to bless the lives of others who might be poor or needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. (31:21) The virtuous woman prepares for the times ahead. She is not caught unprepared for the changing of the seasons and has planned for provisions for her family.

She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. (31:22) The virtuous woman is entitled to certain luxuries as she benefits from her hard work and diligent maintenance of her household. She dresses modestly and in a manner that brings honor to the Holy One.

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. (31:23) The virtuous woman faithfully manages the household and frees her husband to exercise his leadership abilities in the community. She is a partner to her husband and encourages him, as he is responsible for leading the family.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. (31:24) The virtuous woman is a creative businesswoman and finds ways to increase the resources of her family.

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. (31:25) The virtuous woman is sensitive to the needs of her household and is optimistic for the future for she has planned ahead for the unexpected and commits her trust in the Holy One.

She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (31:26) The term “teaching of kindness” is a combination of Torah and chesed which is sometimes translated as steadfast love. The virtuous woman actively trains her children in the religious instruction of faith in Messiah Yeshua and Torah.

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. (31:27) The virtuous woman is a dedicated servant who seeks the best for her family. She is not idle or lazy but diligent to complete her tasks. She transforms her home into a center of ministry for her family and her guests.

Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: (31:28) The virtuous woman finds reward in the love and praise of her children and her husband, and the knowledge that what she values is pleasing to the Lord. She is a faithful servant of the family and receives their love and praise for her sacrifice and diligence.

"Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all." (31:29) A virtuous woman is changed from glory to glory as she becomes conformed to the image of her Redeemer. She brings honor to her Creator and her family as she pursues righteousness and shalom.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised. (31:30) The virtuous woman is praised for her beauty of character which is deep and lasting. Her character is developed through her relationship with the Holy One as He molds her into a vessel of honor.

Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (31:31) A virtuous woman is known for her good deeds. The Holy One blesses the work of her hands and causes her to excel as she labors and serves according to His will.

For the woman who seeks after the Holy One, developing strength of character is a growing process, filled with both failure and success as she travels down the walk of faith. The Holy One begins His work with the canvas of her life and it continues throughout her lifetime until the portrait of the virtuous woman is complete and she stands before Him face to face. She is a masterpiece in the making, fashioned by the very hands of the Holy One and He will be faithful to complete His work.

Phillipians 1:6 “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Messiah Yeshua.”

End Notes

[1] Michael and Susan Card. The Homeschool Journey. (Oregon: Harvest House 1997) 13.
[2] Spiros Zodhiates.The Complete Word Study Dictionary, New Testament. (Amg Publishers 1992).
[3] Rabbi Abraham Witty. Exploring Jewish Tradition. (New York: Random House 2001) 424.